Growing up

I won't pretend to know what it means to fully grow up. But I know one thing; it's really hard. I know that in every other country kids have they're lives figured out. As though their lives have been mapped out for them. Not in America. There are too many directions, and not enough planning; forward, left, and right. How come we never get to go back?. You see, that's what sucks about this game we call life; there are never any second chances when you want them, and hardly enough when you need them. Growing up is hard. I often wonder what can I do that hasn't already been done before. Nothing, if I cant think of it. I want to be a writer; not because of spelling or grammar, which are very important, but because I like writing and typing. This blog isn't for anyone. I made it to type out the random thoughts that pop into my head, and maybe...just maybe it will make sense to anyone that isn't me. Its seems as though every kid in my school has a friend. I have friends, but the kind that you want to talk to everyday. That's my problem, I settle too much, because deep down inside I hate to be alone. That's apart of growing up, learning your faults and turning them into strengths. What is my strength? seeing people for who they truly are, I pay too much attention  to other people. Noticing everything, and missing nothing. Insecurities are the worst, and I feel like a creeper whenever I find someone's insecurity. that's why I write. To type what I'm to afraid to say out loud, Does that make me a coward? if so than I accept that as a flaw. I'm abrasive when I want to be, the amount of fights I've been in is impressive to some. The ideas I have floating in my head about religion, werewolves, vampires; are all new ideas, not brand new, but different interpretations of someone else's research. I guess growing up is something I haven't done yet, because I don't really have anything to look forward too, maybe I need someone to give a right shove or two....maybe three.